I’ve shared a lot about getting to know people and building relationships. But one of the best ways to get to know someone is by actually listening. Listening is more than just hearing what the other person is saying: the sounds coming out of their mouth. It also means comprehending what they are saying and being able to give feedback to show that you value what they have to say.

Listening isn’t easy. These days, everyone wants to talk. And you get the feeling that everyone’s just waiting for their moment to talk. How do you truly listen?

Here are four tips for how you can be a rock-star listener, and make anyone you talk with feel understood like a long-lost friend.

1. Be Still

Body language matters, and if you’re twitching and moving you tell the other person that you’re distracted and not paying attention. Cut out the leg shaking, pen clicking, and excessive gum chewing. Instead, focus like a spotlight on the person in front of you.

2. Ask Relevant Questions

Being engaged in a conversation requires feedback and natural pauses, as well as acknowledgements that you either do or do not understand the conversation. Nobody likes a yes-man or someone who is simply staring off into space; it’s as good as talking to a wall for the person doing the talking.

If you are asking questions, it shows the other person that you are interested in what they have to say. Try not to go overboard, as asking too many questions can come across as fake, arrogant, or just plain annoying.


3. Listen To The Hidden Message

While taming your own body-language quirks, you should be paying special attention to the body language of others and the tone of their voice. What are they really trying to say? Listen to their tone, watch their body language, and pay attention to their expressions. Understand them at the emotional, core level.

4. Don’t Interrupt

This is the number-one offender for all poor listeners. It is more a matter of ego than it is of a certain skill you must learn. Even if the intent is pure, interrupting someone mid-sentence comes across as either rude or dismissive to the other party.

A great conversation has rhythm to it, where both parties are respectful and mindful of each other’s train of thought. If the other person is interrupting you mid-sentence, keep maintaining that your replies come after they reached a complete thought. Don’t give up, eventually they will naturally follow suit.

And there you have it - four simple, easy-to-use tips for being a world-class listener. Look, at the end of the day, listening is both difficult and easy. It's easy to know what to do, but it isn't always easy to do sometimes.

That said - if you invest the time and effort, you will build amazing relationships with people.

To a more conscious you,

Yana

P.S. Do check out my "People Power" website as I share 8 tips you can use to network and connect with high-power people.

_{This post was first published on Yana Fry blog and has been reposted on Executive Lifestyle with the permission of the author.
Edited by Nedda Chaplin
Image credit: Daughter and mother talking from Shutterstock}

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