So many times in my life I have asked, “Why me?”

In my early teen years to young adulthood, I asked myself, “Why this depression? Why this loneliness? Why this obsession with food? Why this desperate need for attention? Why this pain and darkness? Why live?”

I knew back then that I was destined for something great. I knew that if I could pull through the darkness, I would one day be of valuable service to others. I knew that from all the pain would come an empathy towards others, a point of connection. A place from where I could be of service.

In the years since then, I have been thrown into, shockingly fallen into, and anxiously stumbled into learning lesson after learning lesson. Each time, I learned new skills and added tools into my Survival Tool Kit. Each time I shortly thereafter met people in the same situation as myself, and I was able to assist them through a difficult situation, just by my presence.

Now, I am more aware of “hazardous” people and situations. I more consciously choose which ones to experience. With each experience, I apply existing tools to survive and learn. I have also learned beyond survival to more mindfully applying certain techniques to not just stay on the surface and survive, but to swim strongly and help others.

Sometimes life lessons are still, feels like, thrown at me. Just when things are going smoothly, something comes along to shock the chill vibes. It seems that sometimes they get tougher. I feel the challenge, of course I do. I still feel despair, because it’s often a new situation for which I need new skills, and the creation of those skills takes time, dedication and faith. But I know I possess all those skills, because I’ve done it before. I just need to remind myself that this, too, shall pass.

This, too, is a lesson. This, too, is actually preparing me for the next level of my contribution. This, too, has value. My biggest asset is myself.

The biggest lesson from asking “Why me?” is that it can take you from a space of survival to service.

This understanding of self is an important part of self-development and mental and spiritual fitness.

If you are going through a tough time or still are angered or hurt by past events, it may be useful to ask “why me?” Not in the way which builds self-pity and drama, but in the way which teaches you something about yourself so that you can grow.

What is your learning lesson? What skill did you acquire? How are you a better or stronger person because of it? How can you be of service with those skills?

Visit the R.A.W. Inside Out page to find out more about Pauliina's work.

^{Images: www.commons.wikimedia.org}

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