One of the very first areas that you will need to address when you start planning your wedding is your guest list. It may seem easy, but trust us, in reality it is one of the most daunting tasks that can be stressful for the bridal couple, and in the worst cases, it may even lead to unhappiness and arguments in the family.

There are often a lot of politics to be taken into account. Where do you draw the line for your extended family and your parents’ friends? Do you have to invite everyone at your office?

Today we’re revealing valuable tips and advice from graduated brides on how you can easily manage your guest list.

First thing’s first, how do you start planning your guest list?

1. Discuss your shared vision of your dream wedding with your other half

Do you prefer an intimate affair at an outdoor venue, or a grand ballroom wedding? Keep in mind that depending on the type of celebration you want to have; the suitable type of venue will also determine the number of guests you are able to invite due to capacity. Do you want to invite people for the whole day or will you have a separate guest list for the ceremony and evening reception?

2. Create a draft guest list and categorise into ‘Must Invite’ and ‘Would Be Nice To Invite’

Based on the ‘Must Invite’ list, you will then be able to start searching for your venue as well as setting your wedding budget. The ‘Would Be Nice To Invite’ list is for guests who have secondary priority and should be included if your venue capacity and budget allows along the way, or to replace a guest from your ‘Must Invite’ list who is unable to attend your wedding after RSVP.

Note: It will be good to consult each side of the parents when doing this. The rule of thumb is that if your parents are contributing financially to your wedding, it is only reasonable that they get some tables and opinions on who they want to invite. After all, you are their precious gem and they want to share this moment of pride with people who matter to them! Even if your parents are not contributing financially to your wedding, it is only polite to seek their wishes on who they would like to invite, then consider if you can accommodate. Some people say that weddings are not just the affair of a couple, but the affair of the couple’s extended families. There is some truth in that. Very often, couples feel pressured to invite extended relatives whom they personally have had no contact with for ages, because their parents insist.

3. Set a realistic budget and stick to it

Granted that your reception bill may somewhat be covered by the cash from the red packets given by guests, do not take that for granted. Always set a reasonable budget without taking this into consideration. One of the methods to cut wedding costs is to cut your guest list. Thus, if your budget does not allow you to host 500 guests, then you will have to plan your guest list according to the number of guests that you are comfortable paying for.

4. Once you have decided on your venue, stay disciplined

Every venue has a maximum capacity limit. If the venue you have chosen can only accommodate around 100 people, don’t try to squeeze anything more than that. It may seem like common sense, but trust us, we have come across couples who were stuck in this sticky predicament and ended up hosting another reception to accommodate the ‘additional’ guests. The most extreme case that we’ve seen – the couple requested for the hotel to set up additional tables in the cocktail foyer area instead of inside the ballroom itself! That is an absolute no-no! Be strict about the people you absolutely have to invite.

What next?

4. Send out your Save the Date three months before the wedding and request for the first round of RSVPs

Although this is not a common practice in Singapore, it is advisable to do it anyway. Firstly, it may help you to save some cost on invitation cards for those who already know are not be able to make it for your wedding. Secondly, it allows you to send the invitation cards to the guests in your ’Would Be Nice To Invite’ list’ whom are replacing the guests from your ‘Must Invite’ list but are unable to make it, and not making them feel like they are a last minute invitation.

5. Send your invitation card at least two months before the wedding and request for the second round of RSVP

It is not recommended to send the invitation too early as your guests may forget! Neither should it be done too late as you never know what may crop up. Two months is a recommended time frame, where you are still able to afford some delay if necessary. It is good to still request for RSVP on the invitation card as you may encounter some who realize that they are unable to attend along the way due to work commitments, etc.

6. Give your guests a reminder SMS or call three days before your big day

Although not a must-do, it will be good to do if time allows. This gives you a very good gauge on the final numbers, and allows you to quickly seek a replacement for someone who suddenly falls ill and is unable to attend. On the contrary, it helps you to decide if you need to open up the ‘reserve tables.’ Yes! – You may get some relatives or friends asking if they could bring along their helper, or boyfriend, etc. at the very last minute due to some unforeseen circumstance. Though very rare, but it happens!

‘Reserved Tables’ are additional tables that are provided by some venues (usually 1 or 2 maximum) that are not guaranteed by the host (which means you do not have to pay unless they are occupied on the day), where the table will be set up and food is prepared for any unexpected last minute turn-ups.

We know these six tips will help you on your way to keeping the usually stressful guest list a lot less stressful and better managed!

Visit La Belle Couture page to find out more about Peiru's work.

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