People are frequently aware of their need to change, for example, losing weight, quitting smoking, starting their own business. They know they should do something, but they find it difficult to put it into practice.

Our daily actions are the result of two basic needs: avoiding pain and experiencing pleasure. Quite often, change seems too difficult because the desire to avoid pain is stronger than the desire to experience pleasure. If our brain associates the change with the fear of pain, we subconsciously keep a distance from that change and, therefore, changing will require even more effort.

Let’s say that you complain about your personal life, but you are not completely unhappy with it so you aren’t yet taking steps forward to change. What can you do about it? Here are four steps that will help you:

1. Point Out The Pain You Associate With Making A Change

First of all, let us analyze your so-called “ZERO situation”: the situation where you know you want a change, but you find it too difficult because of the pain you associate with changing.

• If you were to make the change happen, what pain might you experience?

• What would this change demand from you?

• What would you stand to lose?

I experienced a moment where I was unhappy with my previous situation: I wanted to move to Singapore and start a new business, yet I associated this change with the following:

• The fear of realising I lacked the necessary abilities to start a business in a new country.

• Knowing that I was investing a great deal of time and effort into the project, with no guarantee of real results.

• Worrying about not being valued by my clients and not being able to make the business a success.

Of course, these fears caused me doubt and hesitation. If I had listened to them, I would have given up before I had even begun.

2. Recognise The Benefits Of NOT Making The Change Happen

Now, recognise the benefits you have associated with NOT making the change happen. In fact, the current state of affairs can have some positive aspects too; that’s why it might be difficult to change it.

For me, staying in a situation of stagnation would have continued to bring me at least a bit of pleasure because I would have had:

• A secure job in Switzerland to rely on

• Fewer worries and responsibilities

• The security of remaining inside my comfort zone

Even deciding not to change has its own benefits, and being aware of those is a good point when you analyze your current situation.

3. Reflect On The Pain You Would Experience If You Do NOT Change

Now, in order to change, turn your situation from ZERO to HERO. What does that mean? Creating a Hero scenario means facing the steps you need to take in order to change. A good starting point is to modify the mental associations that link your actions with the respective pain and pleasure that you can obtain from them.


Take some time to reflect on what kind of pain you would experience if you were to NOT work on your goal:

• What would you lose?

• What would be the price for giving up on changing?

Focus on the feeling of unhappiness and dissatisfaction you would experience if you decided not to act.

4. Identify The Pleasure And The Joy The Change Will Bring

The next step to decide that only a change will provide you with the joy you really want. Focus on the benefits of the change:

• What would your life be like when you reach your goals?

• How would you feel?

• What would be different?

Here you must focus on the feelings of satisfaction, happiness and not pay too much attention to the reality.It is very important to remind yourself about the benefits that the change will bring and the satisfaction you will feel.

When making the decision to move to Singapore and to set up ThreeSixtySkills, I found it important to remind myself of the advantages this change could bring, the valuable service I could provide, the people I could help, and the satisfaction I could get from my vision and my mission. At the same time, I kept in mind the feeling of failure and dissatisfaction I would experience if I decided not to act - to wait and to let events happen without consciously intervening.

In Conclusion

When you are feeling discouraged, bring awareness to the points mentioned above. Focus again on the pain you would feel if you had to abandon your goal and recall the satisfaction you will experience in becoming the hero of your life. This will give you the strength to keep pursuing your dreams.

 Begin the journey to become the hero of your life! Visit Anh's page to find out more

_{This post was first published on ThreeSixtySkills blog and has been reposted on Executive Lifestyle with the permission of the author.
Edited by Nedda Chaplin
Image credit: Portrait of Asian woman from Shutterstock}

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