It has been a month and 2 days since Baguio City declared an Enhanced Community Quarantine as part of the effort to combat the spread of COVID19. Like every other place, each household was assigned a quarantine pass, and we had to follow the assigned market days for our barangay. The kids and adults in the house are going stir crazy, so we try and find ways to occupy ourselves during this crisis.

My anger at the whole situation died down after getting more information from reliable sources like the Department of Health, the World Health Organization and news outlets. I saw how grave the situation was and realized that I was being selfish.

This anger however was replaced by something else – a sense of foreboding, that the worst was yet to come. Coupled by a fear of the uncertain, and whether we will come out of this crisis anytime soon if at all.

After much contemplation, let me share some of the personal realizations I have about these challenging times that have helped me make it through every single day.

1. Be kind to yourself first. Since I was part of the Connected Women remote team, I was fortunate that work continued despite the lockdown. The major change for me was having the whole family at home with me, especially the kids. My daily schedule during the first week was all over the place, because I was juggling work with preparing meals and childcare and other things brought on by a full house.

I was kicking myself for not being quick enough with my work tasks, and for small things like cooking lunch late or not being able to put my toddler to bed early enough. Before the end of the first week, I realized that I was being too hard on myself. And this realization came after we did a check in with our People and Operations team. From then on, I started telling myself: This is not business as usual. This is business unusual. It was normal to find oneself staring blankly into space and unable to think about anything else. What was important was to acknowledge this and to find a way to cope.

Regular check-ins on each team member helped me through this phase. Flexible work arrangements that considered your domestic situation (i.e. childcare, homeschooling, food runs and errands) was also a Godsend. Since I had a better handle on my work schedule, I was able to tackle my domestic commitments better. And because I was the only one earning an income, I had to be kind enough to myself to delegate most of the chores to other members of the family.

2. Don’t force yourself to be productive. On April 3, a tweet about how one should be spending this quarantine came out and made the rounds on social media. It said: “If you don’t come out of this quarantine with either: 1.) a new skill 2.) starting what you’ve been putting off like a new business 3.) more knowledge You didn’t ever lack the time, you lacked the discipline.”

The first time I saw it, I admit I was guilty of the same line of thinking. I frantically looked for ways to keep myself busy, in my off-hours. I enrolled in a data analytics scholarship program and got accepted. I started the first few lessons. Alas, I have not progressed beyond that. Why was this so? I was too mentally tired from work alone, and I was still on an emotional roller coaster as the situation in the country was getting worse. So, I stopped pretending that I can be do more than what I am mentally and emotionally capable to do. And it was a big load off.

We cannot assume what everyone is going through during this period, and it does not help to criticize people for not making the most out of their time. And it seems that this sentiment of productivity is being overpowered by one that is more compassionate and uplifting: “You are doing just fine. We are going through a collective traumatic experience. Not everyone has the privilege of turning a pandemic into something fun or productive. Stay healthy.”

3. Decompress, and do it regularly. My daily schedule is a jumble of work and home commitments, which can be mentally and physically draining. Since the lockdown, I have been more conscious of what I am feeling. In the morning, I do my yoga flows to get me energized. In between cognitive tasks, I take mini-breaks and do stuff that don’t require much thinking: listen to music, catch an episode of the latest show on my binge list. Occasionally, I also enjoy baking with my kids.

Find an activity that suits you best. If you like to cook or bake, bring out those recipes and get busy. If you have pets you can play with, do that. If you have a small garden, tend to it. The key is to do an activity that you love and relaxes you. If you get stressed from going through your social media news feeds, make it a point not to indulge yourself in it.

4. Prioritize your health and well-being. I am great believer in the adage: “Better safe than sorry.” I take all the necessary precautions whenever I do a grocery or market run, including disinfecting everything I use when I am out there. Daily vitamin intake is a must for everyone.

Adequate rest and sleep seemed like a luxury then, because you were into so many things. These days however, I would choose sleep over watching TV or binge-watching. I also noticed that the family was eating healthier meals because fast food was no longer an option. Because we here in Baguio are blessed with easy access to fresh vegetables, we can include them in our meals daily.

5. Compassion should come first. We are all in this. Everyone is experiencing this quarantine and all the emotions that come with it, some more intense than others depending on your situation. Since we are not able see each other and catch up face to face, we have to make use of what we have to check in with family and friends.

We have daily video calls with my parents in Quezon City, who are missing their grandchildren dearly. When I am on Facebook, I prioritize catching up with friends in and outside of Baguio. A simple check in with someone who you haven’t heard from in a while can make a big difference. You may just be reaching out at a time when they need someone to talk to the most. All of this is a practice in compassion and genuine concern. I am hopeful that at the end of this crisis, we will emerge capable of more kindness and compassion.

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