“My purpose is to help people break free from all conditions and limitations that were brought upon us; families, friends, even school systems can suffocate us. We were all born to be happy, talented human beings and yet, we turn out to be miserable adults. It’s not supposed to be that way.” — Yana Fry

Yana Fry’s recent chain of Facebook posts resembles what Ash Beckham calls a “coming out” story, where the closet is that ‘hard conversation’ we all experience — like telling someone we love them for the for the first time, that we’re pregnant, or have cancer. The proverbial vulnerability closet.

A transformational coach with a vision to inspire people to live with passion and courage, Yana bares all in the hopes of inspiring others.

With a history of growing up in a broken family in Soviet Union, being stranded overseas, suffering a failed marriage and depression, Yana believes the key to overcoming hardship and finding happiness is to face our own truths, even when it scares us most.

“I’m freaking out” were the first words out of Yana’s mouth. “This is new to me. I still have a lot of unprocessed, unreconciled emotions. It’s raw; it feels recent and like I haven’t put it to sleep yet.”

You can’t help but wonder why the strong, beautiful and confident Yana would revisit her turbulent past to share her story. But to her, that’s exactly the problem.

People see where Yana is today and think she was born into privilege and married off into a comfortable family. But the truth is far from it.

“As much as I’ve moved away from my past, it has everything to do with what I’m doing now and the message I want to share. Even if I rotate through all social spectrums, my journey is what makes me who I am as a person. I can’t pretend my past didn’t happen as painful as it is to look back” she shared.

Starting on a journey

Yana always felt she was emotionally sensitive. When her father left when she was eight, she consoled her mother and became a frequent confidante to those around her. As an adult, she knew she wanted to work with people, but coaching didn’t exist in the Soviet Union at the time; instead, there was psychotherapy.

“I found it too rigid and questioned how much of it applied to modern life. But I was very interested in personal development. I got the concept of growing and leaving my comfort zone,” she reflected.

On applying for training, Yana was told she was too young, “too female” and had no valuable life experience that would satisfy a hardened New Russia, so she packed and left.

By the time Yana was 21, she married a Swiss banker who soon after was diagnosed with cancer. They moved to New York so he could continue work and treatment. “I couldn’t have a stable job, I realigned my life around his schedule and treatments. I was young and didn’t know how to deal with it and gave up my pursuits of being an actress and model, withdrawing from school.”

At 22, Yana was a full-time caregiver and lost in her commitments. “There’s support for patients but none for the person who was dealing with someone dying and managing everything,” she reflected.

A failing marriage

The marriage disintegrated as time went on. “We were living like that for years; co-existing out of fear. I was afraid to let it go out of a sense of duty and fear of confrontation. He was afraid to let it go because he didn’t want to be alone with his illness.”

Yana didn’t have the courage to do anything while he was ill. “Every time I tried to leave him, he would relapse and it went in circles. I felt suffocated and completely on my own supporting him through relapses, emotional downturns, hospital treatments, mental anxieties and panic attacks. I suffered from depression and had severe breakdowns, but I kept supporting him. I felt that compared to his problems, mine was nothing.”

Years past as she waited for her husband to recover. But she found the longer she waited, the harder it was. “I was a mess emotionally. I would laugh, then I would cry. My body would shake. I was not in a good place.”

Yana was heavily medicated, suffering deteriorating health. Her joints became so swollen she couldn’t walk. Then, as if things couldn’t get worse, she received the devastating news that her friend committed suicide.

“It really affected me. I talked to her three days before and didn’t pick up she was suicidal. It put life and death in perspective to me. First they’re here, then not.”

With the death of her friend, Yana realised she was on the brink. “I was having suicidal thoughts. I started to understand why people committed suicide whereas before I thought it could never be so bad where you’d want to take your own life. But at that point, I found myself justifying that it as an option. I had never been at that point before.”

For Yana, the most difficult part was to accept that she would have to hurt someone she loved for own sanity. “I thought ’good girls don’t leave a husband who is ill’. I couldn’t get my mind around it. Then one day, I realised that I was dying. I was prolonging my husband’s life, but if I stayed, I was going to die.”

After the on-going torment, Yana decided to tell her husband. “I was preparing myself the whole day. He walked through the door and the first thing he said was ‘I had another relapse’ after being fine for months.’ I broke down. I was crying and screaming, realising I just couldn’t do it anymore.”

Yana left without a job or savings. “I was in a foreign country with no money. It was like I was just on the street. I didn’t want anything from my husband, I just wanted to get out of it. I wanted to have my freedom back.”

A lifeline

Feeling like a failure and a mess, the only thing Yana had left was faith and a belief that “things are going to be just fine.” And they were. People walked into her life, coaches and friends, who helped her piece her life back together again.

“Coaching saved me. Through separation, divorce, little money and no clear plans for my future, I saw overwhelming kindness from people and learned tools to get me through.”

Reflecting on what followed, Yana said leaving her husband felt like she shot someone she loved to end the agony and misery. “I felt like I committed a murder and had to justify my right to live further and be happy. I felt I was such a bad person that I had no right to be loved or happy – that I didn’t deserve it. I thought people like me don’t deserve it.”

To ease the pain, Yana began to build a life that was dedicated to helping others. She underwent coaching sessions to transform through her pain to help others. Those early coaching sessions lit a fire inside Yana as she realised she could change her life if she changed her thoughts, let go of fear and resentment and took on a different perspective on life.

She slowly began to see results in her life. She felt lighter, more energetic and even happier. What started as an emotional rehabilitation soon turned into a passion. Yana began thinking that if coaching could help her turn her life around, maybe it could help other people who were in a similar situation.

It wasn’t long after Yana started taking classes on becoming a coach, fuelled by the desire to help other people just like herself. It was also at this time that Yana received news that her husband had passed away. Yana didn’t attend his funeral, choosing instead to grieve alone.

“Choosing not to attend his funeral was even more difficult than choosing to leave the marriage. He passed away two months after he got re-married. His new wife was there, with friends and family and I felt it was the right thing to do. I dealt with pain, with guilt and with shame. And I came out stronger.”

Yana decided to throw herself wholeheartedly into her new found passion — helping people transform their lives. She travelled all over the world, seeking out teachers and mentors and learning powerful rapid life-change techniques.

Her combination of drive, intuition and intelligence accelerated her growth and it wasn’t long before the student became the master.

Yana then started her own coaching business, Yana Fry Coaching, which has since expanded to include workshops, 1-to-1 coaching, group coaching and much more.

Yana has even started her own inspirational TV channel, YanaTV, where she interviews top leaders of every industry and get them to share their journey to success.

Looking back, Yana recognises that what changed her life was the eventual courage to stand up for herself and speak her own truth.

And today, she wants to share that message with other women.

“Be clear on what you want, and do not be afraid to stand up for what you believe in. I had to deal with guilt, but what made the difference for me was transforming guilt to peace. I moved from guilt to self-forgiveness and then to self-love. And now I live in a space of love.”

Yana lives her life now from her calling: being in service to others, living her life from love and compassion, and empowering people one interaction at a time.

And it has made all the difference for her.

She has journeyed all over the world, sharing her life-changing message and helped countless men and women lead more empowered lives.

She still receives messages and emails from students worldwide, from Moscow to Singapore to Tanzania, on how much their lives have changed after working with Yana or attending one of Yana’s events.

But for Yana, this is only the beginning.

“I’ve come so far on this journey, and I can truly say that I know who I am now and I love and accept myself. I know what’s best for me, and I know it’s my responsibility to make myself happy and share my gifts. When I do that, I can change the world.”

To connect with Yana, you can join her Facebook page. And to receive inspirational life lessons from some of the world’s leading people, visit YanaTV.

Here’s Yana’s 5 pillars for living a life of love, purpose and happiness:

1. LOVE
   Love heals, inspires, connects, creates and moves us forward. Love is what all of us are looking for – we want to love and to be loved. But it all starts with YOU. Love for yourself is the most important (and often most difficult) love of all. If you think you can love another person without loving yourself, you are delusional. It all starts with you. You are the first person who deserves your own love. Take care of yourself. Appreciate yourself. Be gentle with yourself.

2. TRUST
   Trust yourself. Trust other people. Trust the world. You will be given everything you need when the time is right. You are taken care of. There are enough resources and opportunities for all of us. When you trust yourself you become truly unstoppable and enormously capable.

3. COURAGE
   Stand up for yourself. Stand up for your dreams. Stand up for your values. The time has come. The world can wait no longer for YOU to show up in your full potential. The world needs your gifts. Find the courage within yourself, take responsibility over your life and allow your TRUE SELF shine.

5. PURPOSE
   What is yours? What makes your heart beat go faster? What would you do even if you wouldn’t be paid for it? What is your passion? In a world of unlimited possibilities and unlimited resources, what would you really do? What are you waiting for???
6. LEAP OF FAITH
   Take one. Try it out. I have done it so many times and it has always brought me to a much higher level. When you love and trust yourself, when you welcome courage and follow your purpose, taking leaps of faith becomes a second nature and you start truly moving towards your dream really-really fast. Your time is NOW.

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