How has your day been? Mine has been great, because I just had the most wonderful wedding!

It was an absolute dream to celebrate this occasion with my loved ones and knowing that the rest of my life is going to be so much more beautiful with the partner of my dreams right beside me. I know it seems shameless for me to say this, but I looked so beautiful in my wedding gown, and that was one of the most unforgettable feelings!

The reason why I am writing this open letter is because of this burning desire to share my wedding experience with you. Not that it was horrible or anything. In fact, it was far from terrible, but we had our fair share of troubles with our wedding guests that made us shake our heads. I have also witnessed a few episodes of my then-engaged friends going bonkers when things weren’t going their way.

Hence, we thought it would be great to teach other wedding guests proper etiquette. Here are four rules that wedding guests should follow.

1. Thou Shalt Not Be Late For The Wedding Banquet

I am guessing it is Asian culture to be fashionably late. Arriving at the banquet 15 minutes late almost deserves a round of applause … since most of the wedding guests waltz in later than that.

Although I am not angry about it, I have to admit that it got on my nerves. As a wedding guest, you should understand that you were invited to celebrate this happy occasion with me. This also means that you need to respect it by coming in on time. Being late means that the wedding banquet can only start later, and it isn’t fair on those who chose to come earlier!

Plus, what if I have wedding guests who specially flew to Singapore to attend my wedding, and perhaps have an early flight the day after or even on the day of the wedding? You sauntering in like a model equates to taking up people’s limited eating time! Geez.

Bottom line: Estimate the time it will take to reach the venue and leave 15 minutes earlier than that.

2. Thou Shalt Not Comment (Too Much) On What A Wedding Should Be Like

When I was in the midst of planning my wedding, several opinions on what the wedding should have been like were thrown at my partner and me. Relatives (aka busybodies) felt the need to ‘control’ my wedding by deciding on how the tables should be arranged. For example, an aunt of mine insisted of sitting with this other aunt. She then informed me what the seating arrangement should be like, and it got quite maddening because it wasn’t just her doing that to me.

It is already a challenge to complete the seating arrangement. Please understand that we took great lengths to allocate everyone to different tables and that it wastes a lot more time to rearrange just so you can talk to a particular somebody.

Also, there were cases where relatives expected to have a certain kind of cuisine and casually mentioned what they preferred. Personally, I think it is alright to provide recommendations but, sometimes, it is best to leave the couple to decide on everything. I once saw a bride who had such a difficult time deciding on her wedding venue because her family insisted on eating Chinese cuisine, and Western cuisine was ‘out of the picture’, which was something she preferred all along.

Lastly, it is never right to comment on the choice of wedding gown. If it makes the bride feel beautiful, then be supportive of her choices and don’t put her down! Don’t chide her for choosing a certain design or tell her that her wedding gown isn’t nice enough. As long as she is happy, then don’t spoil the moment. The last thing she needs is to feel insecure about her wedding gown!

Bottom line: It is alright to comment, but be supportive at the same time. If you feel that the comment is not going to be constructive, then that’s your cue to keep things to yourself.

Look out for the second part of Peiru’s article, where we look at the last two rules that wedding guests should follow.

Visit La Belle Couture page to find out more about Peiru’s work.