You Were Not Born Disengaged, Here’s Why

Disengaged Asian Girl

Ask a six-year-old what he/she would like to be when they grow up. Their eyes light up with passion. They jump up and down. Pilot. Firefighter. Dancer. Teacher. The universe is at their feet.


When was the last time you felt this way?
When was the last time you felt it was your boss/organization’s fault that you feel disengaged?
When do you think you will get a chance to feel engaged, passionate and alive at work again?

The answer to these three simple questions tells us a lot about your potential to lead yourself and others. It tells us a lot about how far you are planning to go. For yourself and others.

Let me ask a different question:

Would you like to feel this way again? 

And if you answered yes, then I have only one thing to suggest:

We must create the future we wish to inherit. One step at a time. One act at a time. One decision at a time.

You were not born disengaged.

So many of us became disengaged by a million tiny acts of disengagement. So many of us accepted good enough for ”now” to mean good enough ”forever”. You decided on a definition of playing safe, playing small, playing within the lines as a ”given” not as a ”choice”. How easily so many of us hand over to others our power to create the future we deserve. We blame the boss, the co-workers, the company, the culture, the society – when the “response-ability” of our future lies with us.

Many of us have settled for less than the best at some point in time. That point in time does not have to be forever.

Many of us have chosen the safety of the paycheck over the daring adventure that calls. Adventure can co-exist with safety. Even if in tiny pockets. The future self where we feel alive and connected does not lie five years from now. It lies five seconds from now because it takes five seconds to decide to show up and play the game of life with eyes wide open

No matter what your constraint, limitation, circumstances. You still have control over how engaged you choose to feel. Sometimes we have moments of engagement, and at other times we get to create a lifetime of one.

You say my life is not perfect and I say no one is.
You say I don’t understand your constraint, I say I understand your opportunity better.
You say life has not been fair to me. I say it seldom is.

I have engaged with my deepest, darkest moments of life with the same passion as I have engaged with the highest moments of joy.

You see, the moment simply exists. It is the engagement that we have chosen to bring to it that matters.

Nowhere am I suggesting that it is easy. What I am suggesting is that it is possible.  Don’t wait for the perfect moment; take a moment and make it perfect.

 

 

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Tanvi Gautam

Dr. Tanvi Gautam, Founder Leadershift Inc, is an internationally renowned speaker, consultant and facilitator on topics of leadership, change management and diversity. She has been quoted/published in forums such as Harvard Business Review, Forbes, BBC world news, Singapore Business Review, Economic Times and many others.

This post was first published on Tanvi Linkedin Blog  and has been reposted on Connected Women with the permission of the author. 

Edited by: Michelle Sarthou
Image credit: Dreamstime Stock Photos


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