I coach my clients on personal branding. Our brand is how we are perceived, and it all starts with how we perceive ourselves i.e. what’s the story that we tell about ourselves? Because that is what reflects to the world.

So What Is My Story?

I grew up in a relatively cushioned way: in a financially abundant family, and protected by my father who took care of everything, and that’s the only way I knew. I had more friends than I knew what to do with, went to a great school, had excellent grades, and everything was perfect.

And then when I was 22, my father fell sick. I can still recall the day I went straight to the doctor’s office from college, to understand the test results from him. My sister and father had not yet reached the doctor’s, and I remember sitting there numbly, alone, hearing the doctor’s voice from far away saying that my father had leukemia. Nothing was really sinking in. Nothing in my sheltered life had prepared me for that moment. And, from then on, it just went downhill. My father kept falling sick, interspersed with a few happy moments when chemotherapy worked.

A year later, just when things seemed like they were getting better, it all ended abruptly. He was gone, right in front of our eyes. And only a couple of my ‘friends’ showed up to support me through this time. All the ‘hanging out’ I used to indulge in before stopped immediately.

The loss of my father was just the beginning of the troubles. We soon learnt that the bank accounts were all in his name, and we had to wait a year for access; so for the first time in my life, we barely had enough to survive. I was only doing an internship, so I focused on a panic job hunt, but it was hard as I was looking for a job as an art director and I had no training in art. After months of searching, I finally secured a job, and I would hand over my monthly pay cheque to my mother.

A few years later, I got married to a man I thought was right for me. Turns out, we weren’t right for each other. He kept borrowing from others without my knowledge, without any repayment plan. Having lived through financial challenges once already, I completely panicked when I heard this eventually. I immediately took on jobs to pay some of it back, but it wasn’t enough and we remained in debt. To top it off, in 2008 we both lost our jobs; we were in Dubai, and we were left with barely anything to survive on. For the second time in my life, I was completely broke.

And it wasn’t just the financial hardships. Combined with a lack of intimacy, respect, and understanding in my married life, I was in a state of depression half the time. Soon afterwards, my husband initiated a long-distance separation, and I just kept begging for us to try and make it work. He finally agreed, but also suggested I do an MBA so we could both make a better living. He convinced my mother to mortgage her house so I could get an educational loan for the tuition fees, and he promised to pay for my rent and food during the 16-month program. However, after I went to France, he refused to pay a cent.

Soon after, my mother had a critical surgery, was diagnosed with cancer, and my husband filed for divorce the next day. So, there I was, no money, no job, stuck in a foreign country, my mother sick, her house mortgaged, my father gone, and the man I thought was my life partner and someone I could count on, had also left. I also found out he had a relationship with another woman.

On a cold winter’s day in January 2011, I wondered what would happen if I went and jumped in the frozen lake.

And that’s the minute my life changed.

I knew I was a survivor, I always believed that I was strong, and this brief thought in my head horrified and shocked me … how low had I sunk in feeling sorry for myself? Who was this person, thinking about ending it all, voluntarily?

This wasn’t me! I am not a quitter; I am not someone who runs away. And what has happened, really, that it has to be so extreme? It was not the end of the world! People go through worse situations. And I was still alive and capable! And so was my very loving family, who had sleepless nights worrying about me. And I was not finding solutions, just pitying myself and being someone I am not.

That day I made myself a firm promise. Henceforth, the only way was going to be up. The only thought I was going to have would be of positivity and looking forward, growing, and improving. I was going to be in control: of my life, my thoughts, and my attitude. I had to make a drastic shift, but it had to happen step by step. So I focused and prioritized.

First, I chased my university dean till he gave me a job on campus. Also chased L’Oreal till they gave me an internship, and did small assignments for my friends who could then buy me dinner. I balanced three jobs with my education, and finally graduated. I worked super hard to convert my internship into a job, lived frugally, repaid my educational loan and freed my mother’s house.

I filed a lawsuit of abuse against my husband and, after 10 months, it finally resulted in a mutual divorce and I started a fresh life. Of course, tensions remain with my mother’s illness and those of my family members at times, but, overall, things are more in control, even financially.

In 2016, I was made redundant again, and I followed my heart and started doing what I had always wanted to do.

But wait! That’s not the full story … those are just facts! Look out for the second part of Poulomi’s article, where you will read about her full story, her life and her brand.

^{This post was first published on Weignite Growth blog and has been reposted on Executive Lifestyle with the permission of the author
Edited by Nedda Chaplin
Image credit:  Woman admiring sunset from her balcony from Shutterstock}

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