Why Customers Get Angry Even When You’re Polite And How To Avoid It
Contributed by Shirley Taylor December 9, 2015
How is it that such a well-mannered young man could leave me feeling dissatisfied? Well, quite simply, the one thing that I wanted to hear in that conversation, was not said. What I wanted to hear was that he understood my feelings – that he felt sorry that I felt bad. I wanted his
When a stakeholder is upset enough to contact us, we often feel that courtesy and a promise to take action is enough. But is it?
Let’s imagine for a moment that you live in a house with a pretty flower garden outside, flowers you have planted yourself. Now, imagine that one day, you see your neighbour’s young son trample across the garden, stepping on all your flowers. You have no bad feelings toward your neighbour, but you want her to know so that this won’t happen again.
So, you knock on her door, and in a warm voice you tell your neighbour what happened. Now, if she simply says in a polite tone, “Thank you for telling me. I will talk to my son about that,” would you not feel somewhat angry? Would you not feel that she should have apologised on her son’s behalf?
Now, in her defense, let’s imagine that she wants to talk to her son and get all the facts before deciding whether her son was in the wrong or not. In other words, she wants to withhold her apology until she has more information. Fair enough. But would you not expect, at the very least, that she show some understanding for your misfortune, some empathy toward how much trouble this incident has caused you with having to replant all your flowers?
Empathy is more than politeness. It is the art of reducing someone’s upset by letting them know that their feelings are understandable and ‘right’ for this situation. It’s showing an unhappy person that you, as a fellow human being, can feel what they feel.
So how can we empathise with customers’ negative feelings without admitting wrongdoing? Here are two ways:
1. Say ‘I’m sorry to hear that’ – then refer to the customer’s experience
A: I’m sorry that our staff did the wrong thing.
B: I’m sorry to hear that you had a bad experience.
A: I’m very sorry to hear that you had to wait so long.
B: I’m very sorry that our service was so slow.
2. Agree that the customer’s experience shouldn’t happen
Customer: He made me wait for 30 minutes! I shouldn’t have to wait so long!
Agent: You’re absolutely right. Customers should not have to wait for 30 minutes.
Customer: I called five times. No one answered the phone!
Agent: I can understand how you feel. It’s very frustrating when you don’t get an answer.
Would I have gone back there for my next pair of shoes? Perhaps not. But would I have hung up the phone feeling valued, cared about and understood by the company? Definitely. I would have felt, not only satisfied – but impressed!
Written By Marianna Pascal
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